Why I broke my golden handcuffs

What I want to do with this first blog is explain to you why I have left my well paid job, handed back my car, laptop and blackberry and rejected a promotion to be the Global Account Manager for one of the biggest brands in the world.

And I think, in doing so, I want to explain it to myself. It was a tough decision I had many sleepless nights over. The company was great, the people were great, my boss was great.

So why did I leave?

Well there is nothing rational about what I have done. I did it for a feeling, for a gut instinct. A raw, fresh, exciting, adrenalin filled feeling that sucked me from my wonderful soft bubble wrapped cradle and put me high on a high wire, stomach lurching as I look down. 

At this moment, I have no clients, no money. I got the bus here this morning in the rain at 6am. But for the first time in a long time I am full heartedly excited about the future.

My alarm went off at 5.30, but I had already been awake since 5am, excited about the day, excited about the future, planning, ideas coming to me, people I want to meet, things I want to do…

I feel young again, like I did when I was a student (but without the hangover). The concept of the future is far too terrifying to think about so I am living day by day, in the moment. I am naive, I know, and I am embracing it. There is no cynicism and I feel free. It is so new no one has tainted my impression of what it is, or what it could be. 

My comfort zone is a tiny boat floating far away from the rocky shores I am standing on, the waves pulling the thin mooring rope, trying to take it away. But in this sense of complete strandedness I feel overwhelmingly good. I am on my own and I am creating my own world. 

I think I may just cut the rope.


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